Maybe you can relate?
I used to feel so frustrated after spending time planning and cooking our family dinner, only to have my family wolf it down in 15 minutes, barely saying two words to each other.
My husband and I felt like interrogators trying to create conversation:
âHow was your day?”
“Did you get your science project turned in?”
âHow was soccer today?”
No wonder the kids couldn’t wait to leave the table! đ§
For our busy family, dinner time is a rare chance for us all to be together in one spot.
I longed for connection and conversation at the family dinner table.
So, I made a plan.
Yes, there are nights that dinner has to be a hurry-up affair with studying, soccer practice, debate club, and track meets pressing on us.
But despite the challenges, I became intentional about our time at the table together.
I was on a mission to slow down dinner time and find ways for us to enjoy each otherâs company.
One of the strategies that worked well is conversation games.
You donât need any supplies, and there are no complicated rules to follow.
All your family needs to play these games is a mouth for talking and ears for listening (and a good attitude helps also).
Try out one of my five favorite family conversation games at your next family meal.
3, 2, 1 Questions Game
You’ll be amazed at what you learn about each other with these three simple questions. Take turns answering the 3, 2, 1:
Share 3 good things that happened to you today. Share 2 things you hope to do tomorrow. Share 1 thing you are grateful for.
Switch the numbers around, as they work best for your family.
Conversation Cards (TableTopics) Game
My family loves TableTopics. I keep a box on the kitchen table. Place one card at each seat or choose one card at a time. Each person takes a turn answering. TableTopics come in several different versions; Family, Teen, Happiness, and even adult versions like Cocktail Party. You can find TableTopics at Amazon. Here are some sample questions from the Family TableTopics set of cards:
- What three foods do you wish were banished from the earth?
- If you could shop for free at one store, which one would you choose?
- Who is the funniest person you know?
- What is the cutest animal at a zoo?
You can make your own conversation cards. You’ll find lots of good suggestions with a Google search.
Conversation cards are included in my online Family Table Manners Boot Camp.
Would You Rather Game
Would You Rather is easy and adaptable to all ages. The only rule is that you have to pick one option- the answer canât be, “Neither.” Â Follow up answers with âWhy?â Plan ahead with prepared questions or be spontaneous and let each family member create their own Would You Rather questions for the group. Here are some sample questions.
Would you rather…
- have tacos every night for dinner or pizza?
- be able to fly or be invisible?
- live in the past or the future?
- be blind or deaf?
- go shopping or go hiking?
- be the best player on a losing team or the worst player on a winning team?
- be cold all the time or hot all the time?
Thumbs Up Game
This is a fast-moving game played in rounds. I love this game for family reunions and larger family gatherings. I think it works best with five or more, but maybe you could adapt it for a smaller group. Give it a try!
You can substitute standing and sitting for thumbs up and down. Appoint a caller for each round. The caller doesnât play in the round. He instructs everyone to put a thumb up. The caller then states, âI have been ice skating.â If the statement is true about you, then you keep your thumb up. If you have never ice skated, you put your thumb down and are out of this round. The caller keeps making statements until only one person is left with his thumb up in the round. The caller can customize his statements as he sees who still has thumbs up. Here are some sample caller statements:
- I like broccoli.
- I play an instrument.
- I have broken a bone.
- I usually remember my dreams.
- I read a book this month.
- I have gotten a speeding ticket.
- I like cats better than dogs.
Four Favorites Game
Choose one topic: favorite movies, restaurants, desserts, friends, books, animals, or family memories. Take turns sharing what your Four Favorites are. Ask each other lots of good “Why?” questions about each others’ Four Favorites. The challenge is to gather together the next night at dinner and see how many Favorites everyone can remember about each person. Who was really listening and paying attention?
Do you see any conversation games that interest you? Try one tonight at dinner, and let me know how it goes- click here to send me a message.
With a little effort, your family mealtimes can be enjoyable, meaningful, and memorable.
If you’d like more help with your family’s manners, check out this free guide I’ve written for you! It’s my very best advice on how to teach your children good manners, kindness and consideration in a fun and stress-free way.
Dawn, this was one of the best posts I have read in a while. Packed full of information and something we all can relate to. I would even imagine using this at some of those awkward evenings that you get with people that you don’t know to well or they just aren’t conversationalists. As for my immediate family, we just love games…it is one of our most favorite things to do together even though they are all adults, so this also seems like a great fit for us in that way. Thank you for such a great source of ideas!
Dawn, Great post! I have my next door neighbors (and best friends) coming for dinner in a couple of minutes, and I’m going to try the Would You Rather game. Thanks for some really great ideas!
Hi Dawn, what a great post. I totally love the idea. Although we may not play alot of games I think this one is fabulous!
We played the Would you rather game at supper- it was fun!!!
Thank you for your kind words! Your family sounds like lots of fun!.
Thanks, Fiona! Even when it’s just me and my husband at dinner, we’ll use the 3, 2, 1 sometimes. It helps gets our conversation out of a rut.
Oh! How fun! Happy to hear it was a hit.
I love these ideas Dawn! You’ve inspired me to play one at least once a week with my husband at dinner! Although it is just the two of us, I still think it is important for us to have dinner conversations! Most of the time we will either sit at our little table for two and look at our phones, or eat dinner in front of the TV, but not anymore! I am going to make a goal to do one of these things once a week so we can get in the habit of having meaningful dinner conversations before we have kids, and can carry the tradition on to when we do! I will let you know how it goes!
wow, I just love these ideas Dawn! I can totally relate – my kiddos wolf down their meal and when I ask how their day was – I get the standard response of “fine.” LOL. I will be trying these tips out soon – thank you!
I love the idea of conversation cards! We are about to start a family ourselves and I think that would be a fun way to get our children engaged in conversation during dinner time.
Thanks for stopping by The Mannerly Mom, Melony!
Have fun with Would You Rather!
I love your resolve! I can relate, as it’s mostly me and my husband at home alone now. I try to remember that while it’s just the two of us, we are still a family! And I agree it’s easy to pick up bad habits. Shake things up- go for a walk after dinner, play cards, look at the stars!
Hi, Christy! Don’t give up! At first I got mostly forced cooperation from my kids with these convo games. Then it became their idea to play and they’d ask to lead the game.
Clarissa, Thank you for the kind words! And “Congratulations!” to you on starting a family.